My vast college experiences

It really is amazing how many things you can learn when you have been placed into a new environment like college life. I think that each and everyday can offer me something that I have never experienced before.
Today, for example, I had a wonderful chance to show central campus my ass, as I have left my belt at home. It really was wonderful to be in a massive crowd of my peers and know that I can either hold up my pants and look stupid, or leave them be and become a walking fruit of the loom advertisement. Unfortunately, neither could be managed with style.

You also have to love having your very own bathroom (no community for me!!!) and then running out of toilet paper. I mean c'mon... Who at home has ever had to attempt to steal toilet paper out of a public bathroom? Damn, they locked up the toilet paper (damn communists), but my roommate pulls through with some extra before we are forced to resort to paper towels. The whole bathroom thing really is nice though, except that we have to clean it ourselves. You wouldnt think that would be a big deal, except when your roommate comes home drunk off his ass and upchucks all over the floor. All I saw was him and one of our friends go into the bathroom and then he comes out like, "dude, keep an eye on him, I'm going home"..."sure" i say. I go in and find him in his underwear hugging the toilet with nasty orange goo all over his legs...Had to take a picture right? Anyway, I left him there and showered in the community bathroom in the morning. The bathroom floor was suspiciously sticky from then on though.

Like Michael, I understand the benefits of a positive girl to guy ratio, and I would like to detail the sheer number of women I have met here for a specific purpose. Jenny please see Appendix A. Mwahahaha.

I think it is a generally accepted fact that Michigan's dorm food sucks. Seriously, why is it that the food at my High School was like 8 times better than the stuff here? Purdue's food kicks ass...what the hell? Some colleges serve some of the same stuff everyday like pizza or cheesecake or something. Yeah, Michigan does that too but they serve daily noodles... like, just noodles. With marinara sauce if you so choose. The only redeeming quality is that I can get cottege cheese everyday along with a healthy soft serve ice cream cone (or 7) at each meal. The guy who serves the food is really nice though. He looks like a master chef and goes by his stage name "Sexy Grandpa", not kidding. Kinda makes you wonder...

On a side note, one of my Professor's names is Rod Johnson.

I have discovered that Easy-Mac is the greatest creation ever. With the combination of in-dorm convience and comparable crappiness of the cafe food, Easy Mac has become a staple in my life. Its preparation to goodness ratio is amazing, I mean it takes 5 minutes to make and the cafeteria takes hours to make the yellow paste they call noodles. Light Purple gatorade lemurs suck is also way sweet as is pretty much all good food that can be snacked on in between classes. Erin, enjoy thy last meals of the magnificent Mrs. Gilbert...if only she would sent me a care package.

Anyway, all in a day's life at Michigan... To all, À bientôt.

Alex





Appendix A:
Manessa, the girl I danced with at the frat party, Michelle, the girl who I sat next to on the bus for twenty minutes, Connie and Min-Ji, my across the hall neighbors, Marlene, my math teammate, Sarah, the really annoying girl who likes to get wasted and hit on guys, Random hot girl #1 who I just made up, Avani the girl who danced with me and then got drunk, Frances, the girl who I met through engineering classes and her friend Sarah, Kristine, a random person who befriended me on facebook, Monica, another math classmate, Kathleen, Marlene's roommate, Random hot girl #2 also just made up, Amy, the girl mirg danced with that one night in welcome week, Norah, one of Connie's friends, Michelle, also a friend of Connie's, and like 8 other random women who show up in my dorm room for reasons I don't yet know...I think they know Sachin. :)